How My Body Has Changed After 3 Kids

  So I was going to call this post ‘how people’s bodies change’ but because it is such an individual thang I thought I would stick to what I know. Me. Plus I couldn’t cope with the thought of some ladycakes reading this 2 hours post natal and saying –  ‘Not me, I just snapped […]

Continue Reading

‘What makes my boobs feel full’ a song (a one tit blunder) To the tune of One Direction’s ‘What makes you beautiful’

What makes my boobs feel full You’re on the floor Don’t know what for You’re screaming wildly and I know there is more Baby needs a feed I jump right up Being in charge of both of you is so tough Everyone else in the room can see tit And now toddler needs a poo […]

Continue Reading

The Pregnancy characters

Are you preggers? I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce you to a few characters you will meet during your three trimesters (don’t say I didn’t warn you…) THE KNOW IT ALL They know the sex of your baby by the shape of your bump, can predict whether it will be early or late […]

Continue Reading

6 Unexpected Benefits of Being a Parent

  So we all know the overwhelming joy and love yadda yadda yadda that comes with having a baby but what about the other lesser talked about, but undeniable perks about owning a tiny person? We all know how parenting is a 24/7 job with no paid holiday or annual leave, but that doesn’t mean […]

Continue Reading

8 Things Not To Say To New Mums

    1.’When are you due?’ I’ve had this. Ouch. I did ugly crying. For a week. 2. When your baby is crying some flipping smart arse will pipe up with ‘have you tried feeding them?‘ What do you want us to do? Slap our heads in disbelief and say ‘you are a blinking genius, […]

Continue Reading

Would I lie to you baby?

When I was a child my Grandpa told me a story about lying which I have never forgotten – he used to work as a bursar at an all girls school and for some reason was often encouraged to join in the sixth formers debating sessions. To his horror the topic one week was sex education […]

Continue Reading

Sharing is not so caring

I find this concept of spending a disproportionate amount of my day teaching my kids to share rather bizarre. Picture the scene- you are at the station waiting for a train and you are in the middle of an important work call. A drunk, swaying, slightly crazed man heads your way. You ignore him and […]

Continue Reading

When you have a crier

If you have a crier, first of all why are you reading this? You are on borrowed time my friend- go get yourself a coffee, have a lie down or simply enjoy the silence before it all starts again. My first born was a crier- not that I knew it at the time. Quite frankly I […]

Continue Reading

Playgroup

What is a playgroup? Clue is in the name right? WRONG. One would assume a playgroup is a group wherein your children play. Do my children play at playgroup? No they do bloody not. Aims of a ‘playgroup’ for me: drink the most caffeinated drink, eat some of the biscuits intended for small children and […]

Continue Reading